In my life I have been a stay a home mom, a working mom with a husband, and now for the last seven years…a single working mom.
I’ve always worked outside the home, except for when my son was born and I was able to work at home. When he started first grade I went back into the workforce.
Once the divorce happened, I was really feeling the guilt and the pressure of it all. I felt I had to do everything. I had my family and friends who helped me, but I still felt like it was all on my shoulders.
I had realized about a year or so after the divorce that my son desperately needed a better relationship with his father. He was unhappy with only spending time with me, and he wanted to spend more time with his dad then what was happening after the divorce.
And to be honest, I just wasn’t able to do it all. I couldn’t work a full time demanding job, two part time jobs, take care of a house, take care of all those pets we had and be a mom AND a dad. And my son desperately wanted more time with his father. So I made the best decision I could at that time for my son, I called his father and told him to come pick him up and take him home…to live. it was one of the most difficult decisions of my life. But again, it was what was best for my son. No matter what went on between his father and I, we both wanted what was best for our child.
My family and I saw my son a lot, even tho he lived full time with his dad. I always told him that when he was ready to move back with me, he could. I moved to a couple places after losing the house, then when my son started high school I moved closer to where he would be attending school so I could see him more. He lived with me part of the time, and the rest of the time with his dad. During the summers he spent most of them at my parents house. Who wouldn’t want to stay where there was an endless supply of food, and someone waiting on you hand and foot! I know I loved time with my grandparents…and they weren’t nearly as accommodating as my parents are…well, my mom anyway. Sorry dad.
Over a year ago my son finally decided he wanted move back in with me full time. I quickly found us the McMansion and less then two weeks later, we were living together again. My heart was full again. My baby was finally home with his mother.
He was happy to be home, and we decorated the house together, he had friends over, I had friends over, and we celebrated being back under one roof.
As I look back at all we’ve been through I know that some people have judged me as a parent, or are still judging me, but I know that I have made the best possible decisions for my child at that moment in time.
Now as a single mom, with cats and a teenage son about to graduate from high school, I work way too much, and I don’t always have the cleanest house. Yes, sometimes I have a sink full of dirty dishes, the litter boxes probably need cleaning, all the garbage cans are probably full, there may be some clothes left in the washer and dryer for days, there are probably crumbs on the kitchen counter and floor, and most definitely I am sleeping with three, maybe four loads of clean laundry. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
And when my son leaves this house, it will be the saddest and the proudest day of my life…but until then, bring on the dirty house, as long as I take time out to spend it with my son before he leaves the house, and I leave the county, things are good!
Plus, I will be traveling soon and won’t have to worry about a clean house…right?