Last year my five year plan ‘outta here’ date was September 6, 2016. That was the absolute last day I would be in this country. There was no doubt in my mind that it was what I was going to do. I just wanted to get the hell out of here and start over somewhere new.
First I was going to head straight to London England to spend some time with a friend of mine who lives there. After leaving England I had planned to work thru Australia, New Zealand, Germany and any other country that I wanted to travel to. Then, after I got sick of traveling, I would travel to Italy. Once there I would buy a villa, fall in love and live out the rest of my days…happy…and no, I didn’t get my idea from that movie…well, maybe some of it.
When I would tell people of my original plan to leave the country, I got a lot of, “What?! you would leave your son and run off?”
Some people looked at me like I was a horrible mother, others looked at me thinking ‘I could never leave my child’. Which made me look at myself to see if I truly was a selfish horrible mom.
I thought about his childhood, and yes, there were times that I messed up. I’m sure every parent has felt that they have messed up, or has done something to negatively affect their child. I’m not perfect by any means, but I’ve always told my son since he was born that I love him and that there is nothing in this world he could ever do that would ever make me not love him more than any other person in this world. And that is still true, and will always be true until the day I die. I only have one child, never to give birth to any more because of my hysterectomy, well, that and old age.
My son has grown into an extraordinary young man. I have raised him to be respectful to others, and to make good decisions in life. And yes, I could brag about my son for pages and pages I know. There have been, and still are, lots of awesome family and friends in his life that have helped to mold him into the person he is today.
He graduates from high school in June and then moves out on his own this summer and begins college in the fall. He will be 19 years old a few weeks before he starts college which means that he is already legally an adult.
I know that my parents and my brother have been the biggest supporters of my son throughout his life and I know that they will be here to help him if he needs it. His dad and his dad’s family and our many friends are also here to help him out. My son is very fortunate to have many people in his life that support him.
As you all have probably figured out, I have already altered my plan slightly. Don’t get me wrong, I still plan on going to England, traveling around other countries and settling in Italy but it’s just going to have to wait until I see everything I want to see in this country first. And before I leave this country, I want to make sure that my son is managing his life without me. If he needed me back here, I would drop everything to come back home for him.
I have always been a strong mom, or ‘that mom’ and I’ve always told him that he can be anything he aspires to be. That all of his dreams can come true. And I honestly feel that my five year plan is proving to him that I am following my own advice. I have never been the parent who says, ‘do as I say, not as I do’.
I’ve had many lengthy conversations with him about my five year plan. He actually is encouraging me to go, to follow my dreams.
He also knows that anytime he wants to come join me on the road he can…anywhere, anytime!
And if you ask me if I have a little bit of ‘mom guilt’ for leaving, the answer is yes. But will I allow it to keep me from pursuing my dreams?? Probably not. We only have one life to live, and tomorrow is never guaranteed.
Plus, my son will probably enjoy a break from all the embarrassing selfies I take with him…at least I haven’t bought my selfie stick yet!!